


Won’t say I’m in love

by Multi



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst, C137cest, Incest, M/M, The Flesh Curtains, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Young Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), idk this is my first time, please be nice to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi/pseuds/Multi
Summary: Rick doesn’t know what love feels like (until he sees the boy in the yellow shirt).
Relationships: Rick Sanchez/Morty Smith
Comments: 12
Kudos: 161





	Won’t say I’m in love

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> This is my first ever fic! I wrote it at 1 am in the notes app on my iPhone so I apologize for any errors! I hope it’s at least somewhat coherent and enjoyable lol
> 
> Okay, onto the fic!

Rick doesn’t really know what love is like. He just lives his life. Maybe, he thinks, the love he experiences is when he’s on stage, hearing screaming fans and playing music he adores. Or maybe when he is surrounded by those same fans after the show ends, high not only from the drugs in his veins but the sensations of bodies around him sharing in the most intimate act you can share with another. Or it could be the brotherly love he feels between himself, Birdperson, and Squanchy as they travel together, party together, and bond over the “love of their life”, the music they play.

But romantic, fluffy, domestic love? It may as well be as distant as the God he was once told he needed so worship. That wasn’t really in his life plan that was sex, drugs, rock and roll (and maybe some inter-dimensional travel if he ever got the math right). He already bounced between planets on a daily basis to play gigs. Once he figured out how to hop between dimensions there was nothing that would keep him tied down. Especially not a wife (or a husband, or even a blemflark, he wasn’t picky.)

He thought he had it with a hive mind he had fooled around with once named unity. They were powerful and feisty and didn’t even try to assimilate him (they had assimilated the entire crowd of one of their shows though, and even tried to assimilate bird person and Squanchy before he stopped them.) but either way. They were basically a whole fucking town and he could fuck whoever and whatever he wanted. Needless to say they were hot. But it fizzled quickly after they realized that all the sex and drugs got in the way of what they really wanted, to assimilate more people and grow more powerful. They mentioned it once, asking him if they could just cool down for a bit. He was gone the next morning. 

It had stung a bit but he quickly relieved it with more sex, more drugs, and you guessed it, more rock and roll.

After that he just lived his life and had a shit ton of fun doing it. He had it all. He had fame, he had enough money for all the drugs and alcohol he could drown himself with, and he was the definition of a Sex God. Everyone wanted him. He was a beacon of grunge beauty. Silver blue hair that had the perfect balance of “I don’t give a fuck” and “I care but only because I care, I don’t give a FUCK what you think”. It fell messily to the top of his back when he had it down but could style it up into an impressive Mohawk with shaved sides that showed off his ears that held multiple piercings on each side. His uniform consisted of impressively chunky black boots, black skinny jeans that were ripped so badly they look like they’ve been to hell and back, and a flesh curtains tee shirt that was equally distressed. He topped the look off with a leather choker, a belt with a huge skull belt buckle, and leather studded arm bands. All of these pieces came together perfectly to show off his lean body and attracted attention wherever he went. He looked damn good and he was damn proud of it.

So he told himself that he may never find that “traditional” love but he was a fucking rockstar and a SEX GOD. Who cares, right?

But when he was alone, after the fans had gone, bird person and Squanchy asleep for the night, and he was left alone with his thoughts, he would reach for his flask hoping that it would hold the emotions bubbling up at bay. He told himself that they were dumb. That he should be happy. That he was mourning the loss of of something he never wanted in the first place. But it never stopped the ache from spreading through his chest as he stared out across the stars wondering if maybe he was missing something after all.

—————————————

He was standing at the bar with Squanchy and Birdperson when a flash of yellow caught his eye. A color that bright normally didn’t show up at bars like these. The normal attire was black, red, and, well, more black. He glanced over to see a mess of curls and pale skin in a yellow tee shirt standing at the front of the stage. He assumes they’re here to watch the show but they just don’t seem to fit in. They’re also early which is odd.  
“Whatcha squanchin at rick?”  
The question jolts him out of his thoughts, nearly spilling the shot of something alien he had been about to take when he had gotten distracted.  
He slams it back quickly before responding,  
“Nothing.”  
He orders 3 more shots.

Yellow. It pops up in his preifereal vision all night. As he finishes his drinks at the bar. As he sneaks to the back of the stage to get ready. As he walks on stage, strutting like he owns the damn place. As he plays he absolutely shreds the music that he plays on a nightly basis, putting just a bit more energy in than he normally would.

He works the stage but floats on stage right. If it happens to be because the person in the yellow shirt is also on that side that just happens to be a coincidence. He keeps glancing out into the crowd as he plays, throwing out his signature sex eyes that will have people crawling to him when the show is over, but he also glances at the yellow spot in the crowd, hoping to see if he can make out anything about the person wearing it.

He learns a few things. The shirt is plain, which seems odd. He expected it to show off a band logo or a design of some kind but it is completely plain. The wearer is small, which he could tell when he saw them while sitting at the bar, but now amongst the crowd they look like they could be swallowed up by it. They are almost a head shorter than most of the people in attendance but the yellow still peeks through due to the next thing he noticed, they’re fucking into it. They’re jumping and dancing and throwing themselves into small pits that people have started. This doesn’t seem like their first rodeo but rick knows he’s never seen them before. He would remember.

He really doesn’t know why he’s paying so much attention to this faceless stranger in the crowd. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. But he feels drawn to the yellow like a moth to a flame. Every time he looks at the soft color he feels like he recognizes it deep down. Like it belongs with him. 

After the show has ended and most of the crowd has cleared, the band makes their way back to the bar for a final drink before they head out. They are hyped up from the show so it’s only natural that after rick throws a rough blow at Squanchy that he would reciprocate with,  
“I noticed you weren’t squanchin the stage as much as you normally do rick. Have your eye on somebody? Maybe somebody in a Squanchy yellow?”  
“Shut the fuck up squanchy.”  
Just as Rick goes to throw a only halfway playful punch at squanchy does he see a flash of yellow. He turns his head quickly to finally see who the hell it is. 

He’s only halfway surprised to see someone who definitely looks underage. With their size he figured this would be the case. But what takes him by surprise is just how pretty they are. It’s a boy but he has the biggest brown eyes, cheeks tinted pink (either from all of the excitement during the show or shyness now, he wasn’t sure), and the softest looking lips he had ever seen.

Rick would say this is the moment he fell in love but he knows that isn’t true.

All he can do is stare. It takes Birdperson stepping forward and saying, “Hello. I noticed you in the crowd. I hope you enjoyed our show,” for rick to finally snap out of his trance. He had never really had this reaction before. Sure he had been attracted to plenty of people before but never to the point of literally being speechless. So instead of thinking about it, he did what he does best. He takes a shot and throws on one of his signature sex god looks before asking, “aren’t you a little young to be here?” It’s a dumb question but one he really needs to know sooner rather than later.  
“I’m old enough,” the kid responds with a smirk. Rick isn’t sure he really believes that but the kid at least had a tiny bit of bite. It was better than him stammering and not knowing what to say.  
“Fair enough,” was all rick could think of to say back before taking another shot. He knocked his knuckles against the bar before yelling to the bartender,  
“Can we get another round? And add an extra for yellow shirt here.”

They stayed at the bar for a while. The kid took the shot like a champ, another good sign. Rick stayed relatively busy doing the usual after show stuff, taking shots, signing tits, turning down offers for extra curricular activities. Okay, so the last one wasn’t normal but hey, tonight wasn’t a normal night. He was trying to get to the bottom of what drew him to this kid and his dumb yellow shirt. Firstly he learned that the kid’s name was Morty (which he immediately thought went well with his name but he stomped that thought out quickly). He also learned that the kid was from earth. Kinda odd to see someone so young so far away from earth but it wasn’t impossible and the fact that he had a translator chip implanted behind his ear meant he wasn’t a newbie, he had been around the block a few times. He was here alone, another odd thing, but he said he was just on world for the concert and then he’d be heading home. 

The longer they talked, the more rick realized that he was in trouble. The kid was adorable. He had a small stutter that only got worse when rick would compliment him or throw him a wink. His big doe eyes world grow even bigger and light up when rick would talk about performing or places he traveled to. He noticed the blush that would rise to his cheeks as he watched rick throw back shots or move to get just a little bit closer to him. Rick hadn’t talked this long to someone who wasn’t Birdperson or squanchy since unity and that thought made his heart sting just a little bit. He didn’t want to get hurt again so he did what he did best. He took another shot, threw on one of his signature sex god looks, and reminded himself they were both only here for tonight.

It didn’t take much longer for them to end up where those actions normally take him. Soon enough he was leaning over to whisper in the kids ear and grabbing his arm as soon as the kid nodded in agreement. He pulled him backstage and pushed him against the wall, kissing him roughly. The kid, Morty, he kept reminding himself and pushing back down over and over again, ground against his leg and huffed into the kiss. The angle was odd with the intense height difference, almost a foot, so rick picked him up easily before striding over to the dressing room and kicking the door closed behind them. Morty pulled away and looked around, eyes wide, as if drinking in the room around them. To rick it wasn’t anything special but he realized quickly that the kid had probably never seen anything like it before. The entire room was black and red crushed velvet. There were some lit mirrors on one side and a big puffy black crushed velvet couch on the other. The bands stuff was strewn everywhere, klax sat on one of the vanities from before the show, clothes were littering the floor, instrument cases were piled haphazardly in one corner, but Morty still looked around in awe like it was one of the most beautiful things he had seen.  
“This is so cool, Rick,” he whispered. Rick huffed a laugh before placing a kiss to morty’s neck.  
“You travel around in space and you think this is cool?”  
“Well, I mean, it’s just-I never...”  
“Never what, babe?”  
Morty pauses for a second before responding, “...never get to see this part of you.”  
Rick didn’t respond. He didn’t really know what that meant. It felt more meaningful than he could really understand. So he decided to ignore it for stealing another fierce kiss.

The rest of that night was spent surrounded only by the sounds of Rick and Morty. Rick went slower than he normally would, not wanting it to go by too quickly and it did wonders with pulling beautiful noises out of the boy below him. It didn’t take much to get the boy riled up and moaning his name and rick absolutely relished in it. The way it came off of morty’s lips was like a prayer and when the boy finally came it was ricks name that he screamed into the otherwise quiet room. Rick wasn’t far behind him after that.

Rick could say that maybe this was the moment he fell in love but that isn’t true either.

The morning came too soon and they said their farewells. Morty seemed a bit sadder than rick would have liked. He normally didn’t care either way but the sadness in the boys eyes made his heart ache in a way that he wasn’t used to. Rick grabbed a tour flyer and folded it up neatly before handing it to Morty. “Just in case you want to come see me again,” he said with a smirk and a wink. Morty brightened a bit at that. He grabbed rick by the ring in his choker and pulled him closer, crashing their lips together once more. When they parted Morty passed rick quickly, pulling something out of his back pocket. By the time rick had turned to watch him go, all he saw was a flash of green disappearing through the door.

That wasn’t the last time rick saw Morty. Morty became a regular at shows, always in his signature yellow tee shirt that rick would spot from a mile away (not like he was looking for it, he would just notice it he told himself).  
On these nights rick was on his a-game. He worked the stage, killed his solos, and looked gorgeous doing it. Afterwards he would have to turn down more people than he would ever have offers from on a normal night but it was worth it to show off for his gorgeous boy. The routine always went similarly to the first night, drinks at the bar, make out on the way back to the green room, and then sex until they couldn’t stand it anymore. It was always a great time until the morning came and they would have to part ways. Rick always asking when he would see Morty again, Morty kissing him senseless and saying, “soon,” before leaving with a flash of green. Afterwards rick always felt like he was missing a piece of himself but he would quickly numb it with a drink from his flask.

He would tell himself he was not in love. He wouldn’t let himself feel that for the boy in the yellow shirt who had the biggest eyes he had ever seen. Not yet.

This went on for longer than rick would like to admit. It went on for long enough that he began to imagine what it would be like for Morty to just travel with them. That could work, he told himself, have a permanent groupie (and permanent lover but that wasn’t something he was thinking about). Or when he was alone at night with his thoughts he would sometimes imagine what it would be like to retire from touring. Put all of his energy into science and settle down a little bit. He would tell himself that he was getting a bit old to be doing this (he wasn’t even thirty but that was basically ancient he would say) and that he could finally focus on perfecting inter-dimensional travel (the fact that he could settle down on earth near a certain doe eyed curly haired boy was just a coincidence). He thought about it enough that when he spotted the signature yellow in the crowd at the next show he started thinking that maybe he should make it a reality. After the show they started with the normal routine of drinks at the bar and talking but rick decided to forgoe the shots this time, opting for just a beer instead. Morty eyed it suspiciously but didn’t comment. To this, rick was thankful. Later rick drug him to the back and pulled him into the green room but this time he kissed him softly. The fire that normally burns hot and fast had turned into a deep smoldering. Morty didn’t seem to mind but pulled away after a minute and looked up at him with those big brown eyes and that’s when he admitted it.

He was in love.

“What’s up?” Morty asked gently. Running his hands down ricks sides and letting them slide into his back pockets. For a moment rick didn’t know what to say. He just stared down at the boy in his arms finally realizing what was happening inside of his head. “I think I’m going to leave the band,” he finally whispered out. It was the first time he had admitted it to himself. Morty looked shocked, “what? Why?” Rick debated for a moment on what to say before saying, “I think I’d like to settle down for once.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted the silent ‘with you’ to go unnoticed or not. Morty just stared up at him, 

“rick...” 

“I just figured I’m getting a bit old to be doing this stuff and I’ve been wanting to focus more on science for a while now...” They had talked about science before. They had talked about how rick had built a functioning space ship at twelve and by the time he was sixteen had gotten so fed up with earth that he had left and hadn’t come back for more than a day since. Morty knew science was important to rick. It shouldn’t be a surprise, so why does Morty look so...shocked? 

“I figured I haven’t been to earth for a bit so... I wouldn’t mind settling down there. And it would make it so we could see each other more than whenever I happen to be close enough for you to come see a show...” Morty’s expression grew from confusion to a heartbreaking sadness. He looked down, pulling away slowly,  
“I’m sorry, rick, but I think- I can’t- I’m sorry.” 

“What do you mean you can’t?” Now it was ricks turn to be confused, “I don’t understand.”  
“I’m sorry. I have to go,” Morty turned to walk towards the door. Rick reached out grabbing his arm, “No! Wait. Please? Please wait.” Morty stopped, still facing the door. Rick could feel his hand shaking and he slid his hand down and grabbed it, squeezing slightly. Morty squeezes back. That gave him all the courage he needed.

“Morty I love you.”

Silence fell heavy between the two of them. Rick felt like it was suffocating him. The seconds moved so slowly it felt like it was an eternity before a tiny voice replied,

“I love you too, Rick.”

The breath Rick didn’t know he was holding finally left his lungs and he smiled slightly to himself.

“But I can’t see you anymore.”

All of the joy rick had felt a moment earlier came crashing down around him, “what?”

“I’m sorry rick.”  
“What do you mean we can’t see each other anymore?”  
“I’m sorry I have to leave.”

Morty was pulling his hand away. The room around them was too quiet but ricks brain was too loud. Everything was too much.

“No! What do you mean? We both love each other, what’s the problem?”  
“Rick...”

Morty tried to pull his hand away again, rick held on tighter.

“Morty, answer me! Why can’t we be together!”  
“Because it’s wrong.”  
“What? What the hell are you even talking about?  
“Because you’re my grandpa okay?!”

Ricks grip loosened, “what?”  
Mortys shoulders were shaking. Even though rick couldn’t see his face he could tell by the sniffing that there were tears streaming down his face.

“You’re my grandpa. I came here to try and get away from the feelings I had. I thought maybe if I came here that it would help. That maybe I wouldn’t feel so disgusting. You always talked about how you would fuck anybody and didn’t even care what their name was or if you ever saw them again. I thought it would be the same with me. I thought I could come here and get it over with and not have to worry about it when I got home. But I was wrong.”

Morty was sobbing now. Rick wanted to make him feel better and cheer him up but he was too in shock to move. Morty moved first. He reached in his back pocket and grabbed the white handle of a device that was sticking out. How had rick not noticed that before? Too busy getting him out of his clothes to worry about what he kept in them he supposed.

“I’m sorry rick.”

Morty pulled the device out and shot it at the wall. A green portal opened up instantly. He now understood the green glow Morty left behind. Morty pulled his hand out of ricks grasp and took a step forward. Before rick even realized what he was doing he sprang into action.

“Morty wait!”

He reached out and grabbed morty’s arm again and pulled him back into a fierce kiss.

“Please don’t go. I don’t care who you are to me in the future, what I care about is who you are to me now. You’re the first person I’ve ever loved and I’m not ready for you to just walk away.”

It was ricks turn to cry now. He didn’t even realize he was until the tears were dripping off of his face and onto his arms.

But what happened next Rick will learn to know was the stupidest decision of his life.

He grabbed the portal gun from morty’s hand and threw it to the ground where it broke into thousands of tiny pieces.

The next group of events happened so quickly that rick couldn’t process what happened until they were all over.  
The portal Morty opened blipped out of existence as Rick had hoped it would but almost immediately, four more opened on the same wall. Men in uniform started pouring out of them shouting about a “compromised portal gun!” They immediately saw Rick and Morty standing in the center of the room with the broken portal gun at their feet. One of the soldiers cried out “rouge Morty!” And before Rick had time to react the soldiers were firing. The shots ripped into Morty but somehow didn’t exit the other side, leaving rick completely uninjured. Morty groaned, his eyes losing their shine rick had always loved, before he went limp in ricks arms. Eyes dark and dull. Rick supported morty’s weight staring down at him in shock until he was brought back to the present by one of the soldiers saying,

“Rouge Morty eliminated. Let’s move out.”

Before any of the soldiers could react rick had dropped Morty to the ground, took the two steps to reach the soldier, grabbed him by the neck, and squeezed until he felt a snap. As the soldier fell backwards he grabbed his weapon from his hands and turned it on the other soldiers, opening fire. He was a good shot. He knew this from playing darts in bars to his history of making his own weapons. He was a damn good shot and by the time any of the soldiers processed what was happening they were lying in a heap on the ground.

He dropped the weapon as he processed the events that had just taken place. He was morty’s grandfather. These men all looked the same and all had his signature icy blue grey hair meaning it is very possible they are all older versions of himself. If that were the case then that would mean that he must have created inter-dimensional travel. If it weren’t for the fact that he just lost the first person he ever truly loved then he would have been happy. 

He sank to his knees amongst the carnage. He felt the blood that had spilled across the carpet seeping into his jeans and staining his knees crimson. He stole a glance over at Morty but regretted it instantly. His once yellow shirt, the one that he loved so dearly, that always caught his eye, was now so soaked in blood that there was only a small patch of yellow left no larger than ricks palm. He reached out a shaking hand and carded it through mortys curls as he finally let himself cry. He sobbed as he looked at his love’s lifeless face before he could no longer take it and leaned down, burying his face in Morty’s neck.

He stayed like that for so long that he could feel Morty’s shirt becoming stiff from the drying blood. He pulled away finally, taking one last look at the boys beautiful face. He ran his hand along Morty’s cheek and leaned down once more, placing a soft kiss to the boys lips. He pulled away and stood on unsteady feet. Once he finally felt stable enough he walked to the closest soldier, bending down and digging through their pockets. He found what he was looking for quickly, a portal gun. He stood again and inspected it for a moment before aiming it at the wall and firing. The green portal flickered into existence in front of him.

He stood in the green glow for only a moment before stepping through it, unaware of where it was taking him and not really caring anyway.

——————————————————————

Years later, after trying to find love again and failing, leaving behind a broken marriage and a heart broken daughter, after fighting in enough wars for a lifetime, after giving up on ever seeing his yellow ray of sunshine again, he found it. 

Most ricks come into their Morty’s life around the time they turn 12. Rick wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of finding his blood Morty. He knew it wouldn’t be the same as his Morty. He had seen other Morty’s and none of them were as perfect as his Morty. But he had gotten into some trouble, okay a lot of trouble, and having a Morty to disguise his brain waves would be incredibly helpful. So he begrudgingly packed his shit and hunted down his daughter, which wasn’t hard considering basically all of them live in the same house in every dimension, and reconnected. When he arrived he was immediately welcomed with a long overdue hug from Beth and an introduction to her little family, her husband Jerry, daughter Summer, and son Morty. 

He wasn’t able to do anything other than stare. 

It was his Morty. The same one he had fallen for all of those years ago. Same big eyes. Same yellow shirt that he would spot anywhere. Same rosy cheeks. Same beautiful lips. 

Same. Same. Same. 

The first thing out of Rick’s mouth is, “how old are you, Morty.”  
It’s a dumb question. So much like the first time they met so many years ago.

“14.”

Rick was late. And Morty was too young to be at that bar.

Rick tried being distant at first. He didn’t want to mess up this beautiful boy that he by some miracle had found again. But when he noticed his portal gun going missing at night every once in a while he knew it was too late for that. After he noticed Morty come down for breakfast one morning with kiss bruised lips and a very prominent hickey that summer ribbed him for endlessly, he knew he had to intervene. As they left from the table, Morty drudged back upstairs and Rick followed quietly behind. When they were in the hallway tucked safely away from any prying eyes, rick grabbed Morty by the wrist as Morty went to enter his bedroom.

“Rick, what-,”

He never got to finish the sentence because he was cut off by rick pulling him into his chest and kissing him breathless. When they pulled away all rick could say was,

“I waited too damn long to do that.”

Morty looked up at him and instantly recognized what that meant. Who the man before him was. This time it was Morty who surged up and kissed him. Intense fire that rick hadn’t felt since he last kissed Morty, even though he had tried to find it in so many other places and even Unity couldn’t compare. 

When Morty pulled away he looked up into ricks eyes and they both knew without speaking what the other was saying,

‘I love you.’


End file.
